Chaos Syndrome
by Lord Jareth
Summary: Postgame Vincent fic. Kind of depressing.


Disclaimer: I don't own FF7, or Vincent, or any other character mentioned in this fic.   
They all belong to Squaresoft. I own the story here, and my pseudonym, but that's about   
it. Don't steal this. Please. I put a good amount of effort into it.  
  
  
Chaos Syndrome  
  
  
"I'm becoming less human."   
  
That was all I could say when I felt the knowledge of the demon Chaos pulsing through   
my mind and my body. The dark energy seeped into my mind, poisoning me… sort of.   
Monstrocity is a silent killer.  
  
The others didn't understand. They tried… they tried hard but to no avail… they   
couldn't, wouldn't understand. And I didn't try to make them.  
  
I cared about them… all of them. Cloud was a bit distant… that probably sounds strange   
coming from me… but a good man at heart. He reminds me, in a sense, of what I used to   
be, though he is more jaded than I was when I was so young. Tifa could always cheer us   
up… she could even bring a smile to my half-frozen features. Barret was obnoxious,   
loud, rude… and he cared for his daughter, Marlene. There was a good heart buried   
inside that over-muscular torso. Red XIII, or Nanaki as his people call him, was as   
misunderstood as me. One apart from the rest. Cid was a man of… action. Yes, action. A   
loudmouthed, obnoxious pilot with a more vile vocabulary than Barret's, he added, shall   
we say, color to our lives. And Yuffie was an absolute brat. A regular materia demon, no   
man in his right mind would trust her with anything of value, but somehow… it's not just   
any sixteen-year-old who would face a force as great as Sephiroth. Who everyone says is   
dead.  
  
I know better. Who better than me to know, after all? I have known madness and misery   
beyond his, but somehow… somehow I can feel his presence. And I know he's out there.  
  
I kept my mouth shut because I cared about them, and because I knew—well, thought—   
that they'd think I was paranoid. And maybe I was, because we did kill him.   
Unfortunately, as the numerous undead creatures that have attacked us have proven, the   
dead do not always stay dead.   
  
Sephiroth is far too dignified to return as a mere undead. He's coming back, but just as   
bad as he was. No, worse. Much worse. I don't even know what happened to the others.   
I'm back in my coffin in the old mansion, left to my nightmares. I could have built   
myself a life. I didn't want to. Sephiroth was gone… I'd helped to clear him out. Wasn't   
that enough of a reason to forgive myself?   
  
Apparently it wasn't. I've tried many times, tried to forgive myself, but I can't do it.   
After all I've done, after what so many people would consider heroism, after all of the   
sweat and blood I'd put into the quest we'd set before ourselves, I'm still filled with a   
horrible sense of pain and self-loathing. How pathetic is that? It is, I know… you don't   
need to tell me.  
  
My thoughts are clouding over, I can't think. All I feel is pain now. It hurts something   
awful… but I'm used to it now. Maybe Sephiroth isn't coming back, but if he isn't, then   
what do I feel? It's not just me. It couldn't be. I've had to live with this for the majority   
of my dark, twisted life. But this… the Lord of Chaos…  
  
I'm becoming less human.   
  
I really do know what I meant by that. I still do, you know. It's coming up to the surface,   
more obvious than before. The pain, rage, disgust and defilement are leaving my core and   
coming up to the surface, more so than they have in a long time. My nightmares are   
wearing me down. At least here, in the basement, sealed in my coffin, it can't burst out   
and hurt anybody.  
  
What is that feeling? I can't move. I can't breathe. I can't do anything. Am I dying? God,   
I hope so. It would end all of this… whatever it is. I hate it, I hate it all. Please let me die.   
I want to die.   
  
Yes… I'm dying… what? No? I'm not? Damn it! Not again! I'm getting bigger…   
stronger. Angrier too. Bloodlust. Kill. Maim. Destroy. There's blood in my mouth, I can   
taset it on my tongue. I'm even angrier. At least my coffin will keep me away from all of   
the innocent people outside.  
  
And here I am, blowing the stupid, goddamned thing open and cracking it in two. What a   
waste of money, the manufacturer said it would hold anything. Must get them for that…   
I'm standing up… oh, I'm breathing again. Why don't I feel more relieved?  
  
I'm becoming less human.  
  
I'm standing tall, strong. I had so many wounds scattered about my skinny body, but   
they're all gone. Healed over by hate. They'll come back, I'm sure of it. I'm all tattered   
from old scars. Look at me. Look at this monstrosity. Do you really want to live in the   
same world as this?  
  
Be merciful… please. Put me out of my misery. Kill me, damn it. Do you want to have to   
live with me? Do you want to try to understand me? To help me? Of course not. Even if   
you did, you couldn't. You can't help a monster. It's just, well… not possible.  
  
I can't think. My mind is burning away, leaving only the painfully clear, searing madness   
in its wake. It's taking over, spreading through my limbs, numbing them and making   
them ultra-receptive to anything and everything there is around me.  
  
I can't control myself anymore. It's all gone. Every last bit of sanity is gone from me.   
  
I'm becoming less human.  
  
No.  
  
I'm not even human anymore.  
  
I spread my wings and burst through the roof of the mansion heading for the sky, the   
earth, and so much fresh blood waiting to be spilled. My thin, bloodless lips curl back   
from my long, sharp fangs and I laugh, an eerie, soulless laugh. I stare down at the lives   
below me and laugh harder, until the night is saturated with it.  
  
The Lord of Chaos will walk the world tonight.  
  
  
  
  



End file.
